I wrote this in response to someone asking me what my definition of the Sacred Feminine is....it is a start....

You are creation; you are creator, you are the breath of life in all nature....Devi, Devi, Devi. - Ammachi

Sue Monk Kidd has a wonderful book call The Dance of the Dissident Daughter. Which if you have not read it...it is a small gem, full of good juicy stuff. Anyway, she talks about her journey of awakening to the Sacred Feminine. She realized as have alot of us, that God has more than one face...there is the Masculine face as presented in religions all over the world and there is also a Feminine Face. Many of us grow up not even cognatively knowing that there is a feminine face at all...although our spirit, our souls, as women and men innately know there must be more. The Sacred Feminine is the mother, the female lover, Shakti (the destroyer), the Creatrix. In the Bible it states that we, as men and women are created in the image of God...that is proof in itself that God is both masculine and feminine. There are lots of other theological, philosophical, spiritual, and religious texts worldwide to support this thought, as well. Sue Monk Kidd states that the Sacred Feminine "simply means the divine in female form."(pg. 72 Dance of The Dissident Daughter). Another interesting tidbit is that...."The word mother comes from the Latin work Mater, which means matter. Mother and Matter are both the stuff out of which everything is composed."(pg 65 Dance of the Dissident Daughter)

Balance is the key...balance between the masculine and the feminine...this is my quest, anyway. Sue Monk Kidd says, "men and women contain both "masculine" and "feminine" qualities and the goal is to balance, blend, and honor both within the individual culture." (pg63 Dance Of the Dissident Daughter) All of this is within each individual to heal, nurture, balance, and celebrate! The Zohar states, "Male and female He created them." From here we learn: Any image that does not embrace male and female is not high and true." (The Kabbalah)

To me and from what I have read The Sacred Feminine, the Mother, allows you to go into the darkness, the shadow...to find a place in the light. It is the aspect of God/dess that allows for your healing, holding space for you inside and out. China Galland is another writer that delves into that shadow. She has an awesome book called, Longing for Darkness.

An interview with Aja from Moon Woman Rising

I was asked to do an interview by a lovely woman named Aja. She has a wonderfully empowering website called Moon Woman Rising...here's the link...go check out all that she has to offer! http://www.moonwomanrising.com
Here's the interview...
In Joy,
Jen

Q. How do you show up as an artist each day - what are you challenges, joys and processes for creativity?

A. I like to think that I show up each day...although some days more than others. On the days that I really show up, things just flow and the paintings and things that I am making and creating just materialize before my eyes as if they created themselves. This is when I know that I am in tune with what God/Goddess is whispering in my ears...telling me and showing me what I...the microcosm of the universe...and the universe as a whole need, in order to heal. On the days that I am unable to put in a lot of time I try to do at least one thing to keep my creative juices flowing....even if it means picking up my knitting and just sitting for a moment in the quiet after my four year is in bed, fast asleep. I also like to take time each day to stop, slow down, pray, quiet my mind and then ask what it is I need to see, hear, and feel...and then it just comes...sometimes slowly and gently like a whisper and sometimes in an intensely roaring blur of color and imagery. When I'm feeling uninspired I talk to the women I know and listen to what they are doing, going through, and feeling or needing empowerment in and then I check in with myself the same way with what resonates with these other women. I also spend time looking for inspiration...in nature and through books, magazines, calendars, and websites that feature art that is spiritually empowering. I also read a lot of stories, fiction and nonfiction that share the spirit filled paths of people, particularly women. I especially like stories of rites of passage or pilgrimages...as I view life as a pilgrimage of sorts. These are the ways I "show up" or as I like to say...stay in the flow.

Q. I am always struck at how important it is to quiet down and I love the idea of listening, whether it’s to other women or to the god/goddess, as a path towards expression. How did you first come to tune into a relationship with the divine and how did this relationship finds its way into your artwork?

A. My whole life for as far as I can remember, I have been talking to God....mind you, I was "talking" not so much listening. I went through some things as a kid, as we all do in our own way and on our individual paths....some of it was really challenging and hurtful and scary....the kinds of things that cause a young girl to learn the patterns and cycles of giving away your power....particularly to men. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a man hater...in fact I love men. But, I went through some stuff and watched my Mom go through some things that further reinforced the idea that I was powerless as a woman.

Anyway, to swing this around to a positive place....I started college in 1994 to receive my degree in Architecture. Something inside of me really wanted to prove to myself that I could do this...that I could get a degree in a "Man's" field and be successful...that I could be as powerful as a man....At the time I had no idea that I was missing the point. But, I did it. I got into a top rated school and I worked hard and I got the degree. During my last year of school I began to meet people that were really exploring their spirituality. I started talking more and more "to" God/Dess....not so much "with" God/Dess. My second to last year of school all hell broke loose at home and my parents decided to pursue a separation/divorce. I was ok with the idea....in fact in full support....but, while I was working a lot at my job, pulling crazy hours in studio, and doing the rest of my school related stuff, my parents started calling and utilizing me as a counselor. I didn't know I could say NO. I nearly had what I felt like, was a nervous breakdown....this is when I started "listening" to God/Dess. I asked for help...I prayed for help and I listened with all of my being for the answer...and I got it..."Go to New Mexico at the end of the semester and stay there for the Summer"....So I did. I packed up my car and my dog and my faith and I headed out to save myself from myself, my past, and others cyclical B.S.

While I was there I learned about alternative healing, reiki and energy work...I spent time every day in the woods...I learned about crystals...and I built sweat lodges with some native kids. I learned about sacred ceremony and meditation....I learned more about what it means to listen. I also met a lot of artists that were expressing themselves and their relationship with the earth and with God/DESS in ways I had never seen before...beyond just a one to one painting....deeper. Now, let me digress for a second and say...I am still learning lots and lots about all of these things and more...and I am learning more and more about what it means to listen...not just with my ears...but, my heart, my soul, and everything. When I paint I am wide open to receive.

I have grown since those months in New Mexico to realize that there is power in being a woman...there is power in femininity...I no longer pursue things in a way that a man might....as I am not a man and will not find joy in this way. Balance between the masculine and the feminine is what I seek...daily and have been for about 15 years now. I have traveled many miles and lived in many places seeking that balance....and that has been good for me, as it has afforded me the opportunity to meet people that have taught me things and places in nature that have fed my soul. Now I realize that it was all there within me the whole time...it was with me everywhere I've ever been and it will continue to be....
That's a powerful journey, thank you so much for sharing it. You work under the studio name "Moonbow" - I find that women often have a special relationship with the moon. When I was young and struggling, I used to pray to the moon. I had no idea what I was doing, I would just look out my window and pray to the moon because it felt right. Moonbows are often hard for the human eye to see, which makes me think of the process of listening, feeling and seeing with our whole beings, with our souls.

Q. As you journey, as both a woman and an artist continues, what are you listening, looking and feeling for?

A. Healing, Healing, Healing, Healing....this is what I am listening, looking, and feeling for. As I find myself more and more healed and more and more in my power I want more and more to continue getting stronger, shining brighter, and being more ME....the ME I that I am to the core. I truly believe that the more I step into my true being and the person that God/Dess wants me to be from the inside out...the more capable I am to make a difference in the world in a positive, loving, compassionate, meaningful, healing and powerful way. I want to challenge others through my art and my own path of healing in a way that positively encourages the healing of old wounds, the breaking cycles of abuse and patterns that no longer serve the soul, and the growth of joyful people.

Inner Children

I've been working with someone with the thought of healing my inner child for several months now...one that is badly broken and needing attention. It was shocking to turn inward to see her...really see her. Her eyes sewn shut and a metal plate nailed over her mouth...pigtails and a calico dress the only indicators of youth...and a pair of bright red, shiny high heel pumps, about 10 sizes too big. It seems I have spent the majority of my life trying to fill shoes that were entirely too big. I spent the day with another healer named Joy Gardner recently. She helped me to snip the threads that have kept me from seeing who I really am, all these years. She also helped me to pull the nails that held the contraption that has silenced me all these years....kept me from telling what's true to me. It was painful...has been for a long time...since I started to really work on getting through to this part of myself...hold her, heal her, be there for her, comfort her....telling her that it's ok...she's safe to be who she is...she doesn't have to lash out anymore...but, the pain is easing and I feel more grounded than I ever have in my life. I feel so much gratitude as the fear falls away...an illusion. I painted that broken part of me recently. I do not yet have a photo of her yet...but, I will post one. I do however have a photo of my most recent painting....a painting depicting a vision I had at the end of my session with Joy. I saw myself holding that child...really holding her, and all was at peace for a moment. I am trusting myself and loving myself. Here is that image...

My Blog....

So, I've had this blog for over a year and have not really shared with anyone it's existence nor have I spent much time writing on it or working on it. I guess my musings seem to happen more with paint and brush than with the written word...although, I do enjoy a good long ramble down the verbal pathway from time to time....So, if you want to read, read....otherwise, have a most inspiring day

The Butterfly Circus....

I just saw the most amazing and inspiring short film...there's so much packed into so little....In Joy... http://www.thedoorpost.com/hope/film/?film=4dd298f102c77b625cf37a9e7744ac68

The Rings....

So, I had made these rings...kind of rough around the edges...but beautiful, rugged and earthy...kind of like myself.....for my wedding with my Son's father. They were silver with a band of copper soldered to the outside of the silver band. I had hammered the copper to look like the birch trees around our property here in Fairbanks, Alaska.

There were some things about these rings that did not sit well with me. The first thing that bothered me about the rings was the fact that they were not closed. I had cut them a bit too short. The other problem was that my ring, in particular, had major difficulty with putting the two metals together. It seemed no matter how much solder I put on it the more the copper peeled away from the silver. My friend who is the metalsmith that helped me with making these rings...told me to bring them with me to Bisbee when my son and I came down for a visit. She had an idea for fixing it. So, I flew 4,000 miles to see my friends and to repair this ring I had yet to wear. We ended up drilling holes into each end and then closed the metals together by hammering a small brass tube into place....

now on to the metaphorical stuff...

For the last 5 years I have been in this particular relationship I have tried so hard to keep things together...going out of my way...to the point that I started drilling holes into my heart. The relationship never has come full circle with commitment from either of us...other than the commitment to raise our son. It's so mysterious how life presents us with what is happening to us and within us in and we often don't see it or take notice of it till things get to a point where it is painfully unavoidable.

Two weeks ago, we went to the Tanana River....to a spot where we have often taken his kids to throw rocks in the river and hang out. We said a prayer asking Spirit to purge the past negativity by symbolically taking away those rings so that we can forge ahead in full trust that all will be as it is meant to be....healthy and whole. Then we pitched them into the river to wash them and the past away. It felt so good to let them go. I have learned so much about myself and my past in this relationship....what needs so desperately to be healed and let go of. It has been challenging and often times heartbreaking...but, I am so thankful for it all. It is kind of like birth...or in this case rebirth...as I birth myself in to being...experiencing that ecstatic pain...trusting that all will be perfect as long as I have faith.

The Four Elements

As long as I have been spiritually aware, the Elements have played a significant role in my day to day living. As an Earth sign, sun in Capricorn, I am bound to this planet. My roots run deep and the thought of pulling them up is often a challenge for me. This makes transition and change often hard to except. I have been working with the other elements in my life for some time to alleviate this discomfort with change. Each one has helped me along the way…either combined or through their own unique qualities.
I love the Earth with so many parts of myself….The way it smells after the rain…clean and green with newness, the way it tastes, especially in the summertime when life is bursting forth from the soil, the way it feels as I run my hands along the rough bark of a tree or how my skin prickles as I roll in the grass, how it sounds as it mimicks itself audibly in the trees as the wind blows or when as ocean wave crashes upon her, and of course its visual beauty…regardless of the season.
The Water calms me as I allow myself to be supported by it as I float. Water is fascinating to me, how it can take on any shape it is poured into and it can create and carve out any shape in anything it passes over, through, or around. The sound of water can lull me to sleep or it can inspire excitement, fear, and trepidation. It is an unpredictable force when it is free to move…calm and placid when it is held gently.
The Air as wind breathes new life into my lungs on a brisk winter day. It clears and cleans with its movement. It creates momentum through its capacity to change things. Air can be welcoming and it can slam the door closed with an alarming BANG! The wind can cause us to brace ourselves in life’s storms or to sigh with relief when things become stagnant and stale. Air, like Water is an unpredictable force in our lives…but, like change it is constant as it envelopes us and fills us. It is ever present.
Fire…probably the most challenging element for me, as I dislike getting burned, be it metaphorically or literally speaking…is such a big part of my life. In a lot of ways it is the Fire inside of me that inspires my creative process…working hand in hand with my Earthy soul. It transforms matter directly, quickly, and efficiently. Fire is a means by which we can let go…tossing that which needs transformations in it...whether it is a ceramic pot or an intention written on a scrap of paper. It is Fire’s speedy process that inspires me to make clear and focused intentions for that which is to be changed. But, it is Fire’s unpredictable nature that reminds me not to be attached to how I get to that state of change and what it looks like in the end…trusting that it is perfect and beautiful, no matter the outcome.
So many aspects of our lives encompass any one of these elements or any combination of them. During major shifts and transitions in my life I will often find myself gravitating to one or more of them specifically…as they help me to understand where I am in life’s process, how I can most resonate with where I am and how what I am going through is connected to the greater whole…the bigger picture…the macrocosm. This in turn gives me a greater sense of oneness with the world, Nature, humanity, and God/Goddess.
Blessings to you all….In Joy!