I've been working with someone with the thought of healing my inner child for several months now...one that is badly broken and needing attention. It was shocking to turn inward to see her...really see her. Her eyes sewn shut and a metal plate nailed over her mouth...pigtails and a calico dress the only indicators of youth...and a pair of bright red, shiny high heel pumps, about 10 sizes too big. It seems I have spent the majority of my life trying to fill shoes that were entirely too big. I spent the day with another healer named Joy Gardner recently. She helped me to snip the threads that have kept me from seeing who I really am, all these years. She also helped me to pull the nails that held the contraption that has silenced me all these years....kept me from telling what's true to me. It was painful...has been for a long time...since I started to really work on getting through to this part of myself...hold her, heal her, be there for her, comfort her....telling her that it's ok...she's safe to be who she is...she doesn't have to lash out anymore...but, the pain is easing and I feel more grounded than I ever have in my life. I feel so much gratitude as the fear falls away...an illusion. I painted that broken part of me recently. I do not yet have a photo of her yet...but, I will post one. I do however have a photo of my most recent painting....a painting depicting a vision I had at the end of my session with Joy. I saw myself holding that child...really holding her, and all was at peace for a moment. I am trusting myself and loving myself. Here is that image...
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